It has been a long time since i have seen this side of morning. Up at 4:30 ! Why? you ask. The Old Guy is off to work again, after not working since Thanksgiving last. In his line of work, (he drives a rock truck and builds/maintains logging roads) wet weather shuts them down. Plus, there have been no jobs to bid on, so work has been non-existant. But, spring is here, and, hopefully there will be jobs to keep them going. Hopefully.
I don't know what will happen to us if he no longer has this job. He's almost 60 years old, and getting another job is hard enough for younger guys, let alone someone his age. He's not a "white collar" worker in any way, and has no training for anything having to do with sitting in an office, or dealing with the public. He is a short-haul truck driver with a bad back and poor communication skills. Where would he find another job? In a time and place where there are no other jobs. He has no savings, no retirement. He's been on un-enployment for 4 months, so that won't last much longer. It is scary.
There must be thousands and thousands of us out there. Wondering what is going to happen to us "if" and "when". Where will we live? How will we survive? The thought of living on the street terrifies me. I can't do it. I am on oxygen 24/7. How will that continue without a place to plug in my concentrator. Come to think of it, if i no longer have an address the company i rent the concentrator from will take it back.
Well, that solves the problem of where to plug it in.
I believe, were i to step outside and take in a deep long breath, i would taste the fear and confusion that permeates the air of this country. How could i not?
Maybe, if i close my eyes as i stand in the air of morning, breath in slowly and softly, the fear and confusion will get lost for just a moment, just long enough for me to taste the life and beauty that is all around me.